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MoD Dept for Military Procurement Requisitions WWII Equipment

Equipment Shortages in the Middle East Could Be Forcing The Use of Alternative Fighting Vehicles...



A picture of the tank before it went missing...Acting on information from sources inside the Ministry of Defence, our Head Reporter, Charles Nobling, has been investigating the actions of the Military Procurement Department, and their unusual activity over the last three months.

"I'm standing in the main hall of Bovington Camp Tank Museum" Charles begins his report, "Where several armoured vehicles have mysteriously been requisitioned by the MOD over the couple of Weeks. The missing vehicles include a DUCK amphibious truck, an armoured bull dozer, and one of the museums most prized possessions, a World War 2 German Tiger Tank."

Our reporter goes on to say how he interviewed Hamish McFlea, head curator of the Museum.

"The army wouldn't say why they wanted my tanks," said Mr. McFlea, "Only that they were going to use them in suitability tests. I'm especially angry about them taking the Tiger, we had only just put a reconditioned engine in it & got the turret working again."

This all points towards some very suspicious behaviour from the people who are in charge of buying the equipment that our brave Armed Forces use, and backs up information sent in by the volunteers who look after the historic HMS Belfast, a WWII Destroyer currently berthed on the Thames .

"We were asked how long it would take to get the old lady ready for sea" Wrote Jake Longbeard, Head Curator on HMS Belfast, "and if I had a list of old crew members fit to train new recruits!"

This is a worrying trend if reports on equipment shortages from Iraq and Afghanistan are to be believed. Only last week the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight, consisting of a Lancaster Bomber, Spitfire and a Hawker Hurricane were sent to Kabul , allegedly on an "ambassadorial mission". However all 3 aircraft have been seen taking off regularly after being filled with propaganda leaflets and heading off to Taliban controlled areas in the Southern Provinces.

When challenged at the daily MoD war briefing for Newspaper Editors, Brigadier Gloria Columbus tried to suppress any talk of obsolete equipment being used to bolster our Armed Forces.

"It is totally untrue that we are risking the lives of our brave Military Personnel by giving them old kit," The Brigadier stated, "The Army, Navy and Air-Force, while of course they don't have everything they want, you can be sure they have everything they need to fulfil their roles."

At the time of writing it now appears that the Military Procurement Department have visited the Imperial War Museum in London , where several hundred WWI era Lee Enfield Rifles have apparently been requisition for "operational training exercises."

More to follow.

This article was a pack of lies. Read more untruths.....

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