Finally An Answer To The Disappearance Of The Common Honey Bees - And The Threat Of Mass Extinction
At a press conference this morning inside the Googleplex, the companies Chief PR Officer, Hector Granger, announced that the Google Bees project. Also known as GBees, had come out of Beta and was about to be released across the West Coast of the continental United States .
'What we are about to witness' Mr. Granger began, 'is the first true fusion of internet technology and environmental action, an event unique in history, which will be remembered as one of the first victories in the battle to halt the decline in the earths biodiversity!'
The assembled members of the world press were then astonished to hear a quiet buzzing coming from behind them, which quickly became very loud.
'Please do not be alarmed' The Google representative stated, 'But please remain seated. You will be perfectly safe.'
All heads were turned to the double doors at the back of the room, now open, and the two rows of hundreds of rather large Bumble Bees buzzing towards them just below the ceiling.
The Bees, lined with blue, red, yellow and green stripes, flew in formation around the corners of the room, and then they all bumped and bounced to a halt on the floor behind the podium.
'We have 3 million of these little fellas ready for release up and down the Western sea-board. They will all be immediately grouping off to build hives and start gathering nectar for honey, and of course this will have the wonderful side-effect of kick starting the pollination process which has been in danger of falling apart for the last 5 years.'
'The most advanced micro-robots ever created, the Google Bees, or GBees, are self sustaining, and are the closest thing man has ever created to a new life form, although of course the GBees are a replacement for the Common Honey Bees, which have been disappearing from most Western Countries.'
Hector then asked for questions from the floor. Florence Fielding, CBS, was the quickest to stand.
'I understand, from independent sources, that GBees will also be used for gathering data for Google's information analysis?'
'That is correct' replied Google's man. 'We will be utilizing the audio, visual, and mapping facilities built into our Bees, for use in several of our enterprises.'
Another journalist stood. 'Scientist have linked the disappearance of Honey-Bees with mobile phone signals, surely the answer would be to shut down cell-phones and transmission towers in designated areas to give the Bees a chance to return?'
'An interesting point.' Hector replied. 'The government has repeatedly attempted to restrict mobile usage, but there are enough voices of dissent from well qualified scientists that dispute the connection, that it has proved impossible to pass any legislation, so it has been left to the private sector to make the difference.'
But this other journalist wasn't to be put off. 'How would you then reply to the accusations put forward that the wireless technology in your robots acts in the same way as mobile phone radiation, so the GBees are, in effect, making the Bee situation worse.'
Hector became quite agitated now. 'There is no evidence to support what you are saying. What we have to realize is that the disappearance of the Common Honey Bee will have catastrophic consequences for all plants that rely on them for pollination. Quite simply in a single generation, millions of flowers, plants and trees could disappear, which would lead to a mass extinction of the thousands of species of animals that rely on them for food.'
The meeting was then ended early, with journalists rushing off and TV crews filming interviews in the lobby.
Our man in the know mingled with Google employees and managed to overhear an interesting conversation between two unknown individuals. Although we are unable to reveal his identity, our man swears that the two were talking of the release of a further 20 million GBees, and the reality that would be replacing real Bees completely in North America in the next 5 years.UK Government sources have refused to confirm or deny whether they have given permission for the release of Google Bees in Great Britain , although they did confirm that Honey Bee numbers had dropped to unsustainable levels in most of Southern England .
This article was a pack of lies. Read more untruths.....
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